A Pensive Post

Hello all. I am currently on the train headed home from school, its Friday afternoon and my train to Lyon isn’t until four, so I have a couple of hours before boarding. I am going to go home and pack but I thought I would just write a little bit of a reflection before heading off on another weekend away. I have been so busy that most of my posts really have been recaps of everything going on and sometimes I think I should be reflecting more- its just hard to take a minute and do it. But I just went for a run and it was gorgeous, I have been discovering areas around Differdange that are so pretty and green, today the sky is a cloudless blue, and it just got me in a thinking, pensive type of mood. So here are some thoughts on what I have learned so far in Lux…

-I can do a lot more than I knew I was capable of. I can travel alone, read a map, speak French in foreign cities, make friends when I know no one, and live with people – both roommates and a family- who are completely different then me. When I thought about all the changes I was going to go through before I came and all the challenges I would face, it was overwhelming, and I freaked out my far share of times anticipating it. Now that I am here, however, I realize you really can learn to adjust to anything. You just have to be a little brave…

-Don’t worry! Before I came here, I was seriously a stress ball. Especially last semester, I would get sick before tests and freak out when small things went wrong. Sure, I am still sometimes anxious or worried over here, but it is remarkable how much my stress levels have gone down. Part of it is that my classes are easier and more laid back, but part of it I think just has come from an eternal recognition that there is more in the world than tests and papers, and in the end losing something or being late just is not that important. I have come to realize what I value and truly care about in this world, and to put those things first. I love this feeling and I feel like it is the best thing I have gotten from my experience so far. Of course, I am still working on not stressing out about some things and I am by no stretch of the imagination am I a laid back, hippy, surfer girl with no cares (my name is Care after all). One area I am still struggling with a little bit is eating/exercising/weight. Traveling a ton and not having time to work out, eating cafeteria lunches, and indulging in delicious foreign food has made me somewhat concerned about gaining weight over here, but I am trying so hard to not stress. In the end, I do not want to obsess if I gain a few pounds over here, but for someone who has been quite health conscious for the past few years, it can be hard. I’m trying my best to not worry, I promise!

-Traveling is totally different experience than most other things in life, and it can take awhile to get used to it. Traveling with people- especially for over a week- is totally different than just being friends with them. Sometimes traveling can bring out the best in people, other times the worst. It is so important to have a positive attitude while traveling, and be open to having new, sometimes crazy experiences. This sounds super cliché, but it is true. Not to bash on Miami, but lots of people here are negative Nancies, and I hate it! I realize my favorite people to travel with are optimists like me, who realize we are on this great adventure and want to take advantage of everything that comes our way. Yesterday, I decided sort of last minute to spend the day in Trier, Germany with one of my best friends here- Allie. We had lunch in Lux City, boarded a forty minute train, and then shopped around Trier for the afternoon. The shopping wasn’t as great as we expected (more aimed at people older or younger than us), we sort of got lost, and we could of complained. But we just enjoyed it and took in the city and the beautiful weather, it is such a nice place to just enjoy and people watch, what got off to a rough start turned out to be one of my favorite days here! I love how Allie is positive too and just up for anything, I think it is why we click so well. Also, traveling in a huge group can have advantages, but overall is not ideal. 3 or 4 people is best I think. Even 2 is nice. And though it can be lonely, I think being alone- even for a few hours- can be good for you. You really learn what you like when it is just you alone, and it teaches you to trust yourself and go with my instincts. In a way, it makes you have more confidence when you make a decision- like when I went to the Writer’s Museum in Dublin alone- and it turns out well. You feel proud of yourself and just more capable in some way.

-You can’t control other people and you just have to let them make their own choices. I don’t want to go into too much detail, but this has to do a bit with my roommates here, who have struggled with relations with my host family and just don’t seem to be enjoying their stay in Lux. For a few weeks I was quite worried about them, and tried really hard to encourage them to have fun, take advantage of their time here, communicate with our family etc. In the end though, I am realizing it just isn’t my responsibility. All I can do it be a good friend and roommate, and they have to figure out the rest. I shouldn’t spend all my time worrying about others who control their own fate.

Hope this post is not too boring, just wanted to get these thoughts out!

Have a good weekend guys!!

Care